Stay Ahead of the Pain
When I was cooking in my mama's womb, the genetic RNG decided I didn't need premolars #20 and #29. This wasn't my fault, but dentists would remind me that if I didn't maintain good oral hygiene, I'd end up losing more teeth, just like the ones I was already missing.
Fuck you. This is why people hate dentists.
Fast forward a few decades after I lost those last couple of baby teeth, I've found some dental professionals that I don't hate, and finally pulled the trigger on starting the dental implant process.
I've made a huge mistake
I was fortunate that I didn't need a bone graft on either side, and I was stoked to find out that you can get screws put into your head with only local anesthesia.
That said, being awake for the whole thing was fuckin' heavy.
I had a minor panic attack when I realized I could no longer swallow.
Then I had a coughing fit after some water slapped my uvula.
By the end of it, the oral surgeon was hand tightening a couple of screws with a hex key, like I was a piece of Ikea furniture. Forniphilia much?
Since I was shot up like a rhino with Novocain, I didn't feel damned thing. Well, I think I felt a little by the end of it, but not enough to have waved my hand around frantically to try to communicate the situation.
After one of the most intense hours of my life, the oral surgeon said something that absolutely stuck:
Get ahead of the pain, stay ahead of the pain.
Which reminded me of the RuPaul's Drag Race quote:
You don’t have to get ready if you stay ready.
Sage advice.
Straight facts
Masochism has a time and a place. This wasn't one of those times.
Heeding the advice, I hit the recommended cocktail of ibuprofen and acetaminophen before the numbness wore off. From there, I stayed on a tight schedule between that and my antibiotics.
I made sure to ice too, donning an extremely stylish chin strap, to ensure I could ice both sides at once, and guaranteeing some extra Steam Deck time.
While I know the doctor wouldn't lie to me (right, RIGHT?!), I'm floored at how well things have went. I literally had holes drilled into my head, and experienced little to not pain whatsoever.
I know everybody is different, but I not some super human that doesn't feel pain. I'm at an age where I can "sleep wrong" and end up with a limp.
Getting ahead of the pain allowed me the freedom to get through the first 72 hours (when pain presumably peaks) without needing to touch the opioids I was prescribed.
Wait, so you had the good good?
Yes, I was prescribed stuff for nausea, and some stuff for the pain. Since I wasn't put under general anesthesia, no real issue with nausea. Since I'm stubborn and still "had shit to do", avoiding the narcotics was the top of my list.
Evidently the combo loco of OTC stuff can out perform opioids. It attacks the problem from multiple sides, instead of just turning your brain off. Also, I got my degree from Web M.D. so don't quote me on any of this.
Let's not oversell things
All right, so there was a little bit of pain. The afternoon after the procedure, the Angels lost a well-fought battle against the Red Sox. At least we won the series and won on Gubie Tuesday.
Joking aside, I did have some tenderness, seemingly around the injection sites, and a tinge of pain if food knocked my stitches. A bit of jaw soreness from holding my mouth open, but otherwise, smooth sailing.
Speaking of food, I even got back to eating solid food pretty quickly, though I've been trying my best to be overly cautious.
Now that I'm outside of the pain window, I'm backing off the cocktail of Advil and Tylenol. I'm scaling back instead of going cold just to be cautious. The last thing I want to do less than a week later is let the pain get ahead.