I don’t typically do movie reviews, but I needed to document my disgust in The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence.

First off, I am a huge fan of the first Human Centipede flick. It was a total mind fuck without being a comical gore-fest. The protagonist was disconnected and absolutely one of the most horrifying “mad scientist” types I’ve ever seen. The dynamic with the antagonists (the centipede if you will) and their inability to communicate directly with each other or with the doctor himself (due to a language barrier) only added to the cinematic horror.

So yeah, was pretty excited to see the second movie. Unfortunately, Tom Six took a cue from James Wan and went with over the top gore instead of embracing great story telling (reads: I thought Saw was awesome, Saw 2 was just gore for the sake of it).

So right off the bat, the movie was terrible. It was shot in color and then converted to black and white during post production, for no reason other to seem artsy best as I can tell. The movie starts with Martin watching the end of the first movie on a small TV in a security office. Immediately before seeing the main protagonist I proclaimed “I swear, if he’s masturbating while watching the movie I’m turning it off”. In hindsight, I wish he was masturbating so I would have turned it off. In fact, I should have turned it off at the moment that he REWOUND THE DVD HE WAS WATCHING so he could watch it over.

Without spoiling the amazingly unoriginal plot, let’s talk about that 12 person human centipede. Graphic depiction of people’s teeth being beat in, tendons being severed and lines drawn on asses before actual surgery took place and even a tongue being ripped out with needle nose pliers and what seemed to be not much effort. This alleged surgery, which in the original movie was done by a surgeon but the ass to mouth depiction wasn’t very graphic at all, most of the imagery was masked by bandages. Second movie, it really appeared like no surgery was done at all and the victim’s were stuck together with duct tape.

And of course, let’s redo the infamous “feeding” scene from the original movie. Oh but wait, let’s inject all of the victims with laxative to ensure a literal “shit storm”. Did I mention one of the original cast members was in the movie? Not sure why she would have signed off on that script, but hey, a gig’s a gig I suppose.

I did fast forward most of the movie just because it was a waste of my time to watch it at length. Violent clobberings, a maniacal troll of a man that didn’t say a word, his bitch of a mother and an actual centipede made numerous appearances. What really threw me was one of the final scenes where one of the pregnant victims that wasn’t part of the human centipede got away. Blood for days and while she was in the car about to get away, she gave birth to her baby TO WHICH SHE IMMEDIATELY STEPPED ON TO PUNCH THE GAS… OMGWTFBBQ?!

Only moments left in the movie, it comes out that Martin was day dreaming or some shit like that. The twist didn’t matter to me or Roger Ebert who gave the movie 0 stars after saving himself the torture of watching the movie at all. Saddest part of it, there’s going to be a third movie and I’ll probably give it a shot just because I already wasted time on the second movie and I’m a bit of a completist like that.

Final verdict, go have your mind fucked by The Human Centipede, but avoid The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence like the plague (yes, as a matter of fact those are Amazon affiliate links)





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