Everything I learned from my first cruise that my wife didn’t tell me even after reading Birnbaum’s Guide and talking about the cruise for 6 months beforehand

1. The Disney Dream’s staterooms come equipped with 220v European standard outlets and not the 115v outlets that I know and love (and can actually utilize).
2. Nassau, Bahamas felt like another world. And by another world, I mean a dirty flea market where I felt like I was going to have my wallet lifted. And no, we didn’t go to Atlantis, no fucking way I was getting into a cab there.
3. Concierge is well worth the cost, but even better when you’re upgraded for free.
4. My wife really likes Disney steak fries, and no that’s not a euphemism.
5. It was time for an early retirement.

Shameless attempt to make a few bucks: Birnbaum’s Disney Cruise Line 2013