Saying goodbye


2 min read
introspection
retrospection

I didn’t cry this much when my mother passed away.

For my momma dog though… I was a fucking wreck.

Reason being?

At first, I thought maybe just maybe it had something to do with my own emotional growth over the last few years.

After an emotional day and taking the evening to reflect on the good times and the bad, I came to realize that this was legitimately my first major loss as an adult.

Not to mention with somebody that was a fixture in my day to day existence.

We raised her from a puppy and helped her birth (and raise) puppies of her own.

She had sass like no other dog and later in life would bark at you if you weren’t doing what she wanted you to be doing.

Not necessarily for attention, often times just to get you to lug her ass up the stairs so she could hang with you.

Every. Damn. Day.

In adulthood, I was long estranged from my parents (all 3 of them, that’s not a typo but we’ll save it for another post ;)

Was about the same with my wayback machine friends that I had lost except replace “estranged” with “Facebook friends” as that’s all I am with just about everybody from back in the day.

That’s not to say that I felt nothing. I had always felt that punch in the gut finding out the news, but it never sparked a level of emotion that I’ve felt over this past week.

I just didn’t process things the same, not because I didn’t care about them, but because they just didn’t impact daily being.

It’s not like I impacted their daily being either, so it’s not like that or anything.

Out of sight out of mind. Come to find out, out of heart too.

With that, given the tragedy that landed in our laps this past week, we shared a bunch of our favorite stories and went through old pictures and celebrated the life instead of dwelling on the death.

We were fortunate that everything happened with the entire family at the house and we got a little bit of time with Little Miss Bambi before she took her final breath and started her journey to the astral plane.

Rest in peace, Boo.

#sobbing.