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Shark Tank killed the magic

Shark Tank, you fucked up, you fucked up bad. I was watching the latest episode of Shark Tank (Season 7, Episode 5) with my daughter when I had to abruptly stop the show and make up an excuse as to why we were no longer watching the show. The segment […]

Check if a string contains a character with PHP

Checking if a string contains a character could be accomplished easily with a regular expression or you can use the built-in PHP functions. To check if a string contains a character of a specific case you can use strpos. $haystack = 'This is my haystack that we shall check' $has_A […]

Transitioning from Google Wallet to Android Pay

I feel like I’m in the minority among my peers. I use Google Wallet and Android Pay pretty religiously. I choose to shop at establishments that allow me to use this technology as often as possible. I ask my peers that use Android devices how they like being able to […]

Generate random hex color with PHP

There’s many ways to skin a cat, or generate a color. You could randomize a number between 0 and 16777215 then convert it to hex: $rand_color = '#' . dechex(mt_rant(0, 16777215)); Or you could do what I like to do, just md5 a random string and grab the first 6 […]

Run a block of PHP code a certain percentage of the time

Sometimes, you may want to run code all of the time. Other times, you may want to run code some of the time. This is how garbage collection in PHP works. Based on your configuration for gc_probability and gc_divisor, garbage collections runs a fraction of the time (defaulting to 1/100 […]

CSS `:not` issue in Safari on iOS9

Seems that every time that Apple releases a new version of iOS I encounter some weird rendering issue. This time around with iOS9 I encountered an issue where the full / desktop version of the site looked like it still using some of the mobile / smaller device stylings. After […]

My experience with the Mandela effect

Remember that time I was bit by a dog? I sure as hell do. It was a choatic ordeal where I was living in fear of potentially contracting rabies as we waited to see if the dog that bit me ended up dying in quarantine. The doctor assured me that […]

It’s never too late to start tracking metrics

Dashboard-driven development, metrics-driven development, whatever you may call it, it’s super important. I’m embarassed to that this, but after running a successful site for over four years, I didn’t have a dashboard with even the most basic of metrics like new users per day or anything insightful about the site’s […]

Stop submitting feature requests for Open Source Software

A few years back I wrote about my experiences contributing to and maintaining open source projects. Since then, I’ve done my share of forking, pull requesting and even starting up new projects that people are forking and pull requesting. I make a very conscious effort to contribute to projects that […]

Bitmaps vs. Sets to track Monthly Active Users in Redis

Recently I was building a piece of functionality to track the daily and monthly active users on one of my sites. I already track this data in MySQL but retrieving the data was sluggish, even after creating a few new indexes, so I decided that I would use Redis. The […]

ERROR: Invalid position '1'

This error drove me mad. I had searched the interwebs at least a few times for it and couldn’t find a solution. All I wanted to do was block some lame ass script kiddie from scanning my server. I know the ufw command I was entering was fine, because it […]

Don't try to speak my language

You may think you’re being cute. You may even think you’re being relevant. The fact is, you come across like someone that’s out of touch and trying too damn hard. I know you don’t mean it that way, and I think I may actually empathize with you a small bit. […]

PHP is stupid and so are you

I hope you’re really fucking pissed right now. I hope you go thermonuclear on the comments box. Why? Because it really just proves how right I am about how stupid you are. You let some silly blog post get under your skin. Thing is, I really didn’t know what to […]

My skills have nothing to do with my interest

Recently a former co-worker of mine (by way of company acquisition) reached out about a project he was hoping that I would work on. I declined but worked in a small bit of permission networking and made an introduction to one of my buddies because I thought that he may […]

Who the hell are you and why are you emailing me?

I got this email the other day from WeVue, a Tampa-based startup for which I am acquainted. The email was regarding the “war for talent” and was pushing some webinar they are doing later in the month. Knowing how these things work, I assume they are going to be showing […]

How to block AdBlock users without JavaScript

This is probably one of the most rotten experiments I have done in recent times. I wanted to see what would happen if I blocked site usage from folks using ad blocking software. Would it cause a stir? Would people figure out that their ad blocker is to blame? Would […]

My three favorite free mobile education apps

From time to time I get roped into investing way too much time into mindless video games. I’ve played all the “stories”, I’ve matched all of the candies and most of the Disney characters and as of late I have been working on a repetitive stress injury by way of […]

Get Homeschool News

The last few months I have been urging the wife to find something new to occupy her time other than sitting front of the television. We’ve been through a few ideas but the one that seems to have stuck, and she is the most passionate about is Get Homeschool News. […]

How to stop Wordpress pingback DDoS attacks

Yesterday I had the privilege of dealing with a Wordpress pingback DDoS attack on one of my sites. My hosting company, whom I pay for access to a DDoS protection appliance, didn’t even notice anything. They deployed the appliance at my request and the spike in inbound bandwidth subsided. Unfortunately, […]

5 benefits of kombucha tea

My shit stinks. Literally. I have troubles with digestion. Irritable bowel syndrome, issues with some dairy and my pee smells when I eat asparagus. Wait, scratch that last one. Seriously though, I have pretty regular issues with being regular. It’s been that way since I was a child. Once, I […]

Determining if you are passionate about something

If you’re like me, you get excited about your ideas. You go from “TO THE MOON!” to “meh, that was so yesterday” in less time than it takes Napalm Death to play a song. That doesn’t mean we have bad ideas; actually, it probably does. It also may mean what […]

How to make the World's Best Chili Dogs

I’m actually unsure that you can handle the recipe I am about to bestow upon you. You’ll probably try to put your spin on it and end up making the world’s worst chili dogs. You may make them exactly as described and think they suck. You will have been mistaken. […]

How to organize your Kindle library

I have set out to become a voracious reader. I read as soon as I wake up. I read before I write. I read throughout the day. I mostly read on my phone with the Kindle App. This allows me to accomplish a few things. First, I have less stuff, […]

Find time to be creative every single day

In my youth I was creative. I would draw for hours. I would decorate the walls with my paintings. I would write songs, sing poorly and even made noise. I thrived on creation, yet something happened along the way. My creative pursuits narrowed until the bulk of my creativity was […]

Empower your child with an allowance

If you’re like one of my many conservative friends you are probably saying to yourself right now that “allowances do nothing more than teach a kid about receiving handouts”. You may even be one of those awesome human beings that intends to use your child’s allowance as a way to […]